Down the Stairs
by Fireblade K'Chona
Summary: Woohoo! And after a looooong delay, welcome to the next random chapter of Down the Stairs, where much randomness reigns! Cowritten with a friend of mine years ago. I claim no responsibility. Except for the whole posting it thing.
1. Falling Down the Stairs

**Disclaimer:** We own Moon. Thassit. And the idea for the plot. And we own the phrase "narcoleptic bunny rabbit." Don't copy it, don't diss it. Word.

No, not THE moon. We mean the girl Moon, you fool. You know? Actually, you don't, so we'd better start the story.

This is Fireblade K'Chona and her friend A Very Mad Hatter, cowriting an Inu-yasha fanfiction! Gasp! Horror! Fear us! And enjoy the story!

(By the way, this is rather AU.)

* * *

"Well-well-well-you're a narcoleptic bunny rabbit!" said Moon, hands on hips, glaring up at her harasser. Kevin was a junior on the football team-and was six feet three in comparison to Moon's five feet two. He sat beside her in Biology.

"Besides, you're taking Biology _again_!" continued Moon, "What-you flunked it three times or something?"

"Well, at least I'm not named after a floating object in space," muttered Kevin. Moon froze, glaring at him furiously.

Kevin backed slowly away from the look in Moon's eyes. "Easy, freshman," he said, looking slightly nervous, "I didn't mean to make you mad."

Moon blinked. "What?" she said, returning from whatever world she had been in.

"Um," said Kevin.

"Oh. The hair thing?" said Moon. Kevin shook his head. "Silver light from nowhere?" Another shake. "Oh. Then it was the eyes. Weird. That's like, five times now?"

"This happens to you _often?_" said Kevin, looking nervous. "What's the silver light thing, anyway?"

Moon remembered belatedly that Kevin had only seen the "hair thing," and that had been outside. "Er. No?" she hazarded.

The bell rang then, and Kevin vanished surprisingly quickly. Moon rolled her eyes. "I lose more friends this way," she muttered, "Not that that jerk's actually my friend, anyway."

She gathered up her books, thankful that it was the last period of the day. As soon as she stepped into the hall, Moon was swept into the crush of high-school students. Carefully, she navigated to the stairs, nearly losing the flow near the French classroom and almost getting shunted into the trash can. Muttering under her breath, Moon took a step...

And fell down the stairs. "Not agaaaaaaiiiiiiiin!" she wailed, as she fell...

But she kept falling. The world turned silvery white for a moment, then became surprisingly clear...

She was falling from a height of about four hundred feet, straight down.

It took a moment before she remembered to scream, but scream Moon did. She screwed her eyes shut and screamed the loudest she ever had in her life, sure that it was the last sound she was ever going to make.

Until she hit something very, very hard, which made a surprised, "Umph," and fell to the ground.

"Ow, that fucking hurt," she said, rubbing her side, "God dammit, what the _fuck_ are you wearing? _Armor? _Dude! It's the fucking _21st _century! When are you going to need _armor?_ Kendo? No one _takes_ kendo! Thanks for breaking my fall, by the way. Who are you, anyway? Some crazy cosplayer trying to dress up as Sessho-maru or someone?"

Pausing for a split second, Moon eyed the person for a moment. "Gotta admit, though, it's a fucking good costume-"

"I _am_ Sessho-maru," said the costumed man, standing slowly.

"Ok...some crazy, _crazy_ cosplayer," said Moon, edging away, "I'm going to walk away now."

"Sessho-maru" met her eyes for a moment. She caught a glimpse of a waning crescent moon on his forehead, before-

"_AH! _It _burns!"_ yelped Moon, clapping her hands to her forehead. "Stop, drop, and roll, stop, drop, and roll," she chanted, dropping to the ground and rolling around.

"Lord Sessho-maru?" she dimly registered a voice saying through the burning of her forehead, "Who is this?"

The burning in her forehead stopped, and Moon sat up. "I'm his girlfriend!" she announced, happily.

"You are _not,_" said Sessho-maru, looking somewhat disgusted.

"Or...he's a molester!" said Moon, "Run awaaay! Run awaaay!" she yelled, waving her hands frantically above her head, oblivious to a perfect circle where the burning between her eyebrows had been.

Sessho-maru raised an eyebrow. "Dude, your little child-plaything is scary," said Moon, stopping and staring at a little girl standing beside him.

"She is _not_ my child plaything," retorted Sessho-maru.

"Whatever, you pedophile," said Moon, oblivious to the narrowing of Sessho-maru's eyes.

Suddenly, she was grabbed by the collar and hoisted up at arm's length. Moon twisted in Sessho-maru's grip as the person tightened his grip...

"What are you trying to do?" she said, "You must have really weak arms or something. Dude, are you ok?"

"What's a dude?" said the girl. She looked up at Sessho-maru. "And why is your face all red, Lord Sessho-maru?"

Sessho-maru was finding it difficult to breathe. It seemed the tighter he held onto the girl, the harder it was to draw air...

"You can't hurt me, can you?" said Moon, somewhat seriously, for once. "You know, the more you try to strangle me, the more you're strangling yourself. I suggest letting go."

Sessho-maru released Moon, and was immediately able to breathe again. "No matter," he said, "I shall simply have to kill you more conventionally."

He drew a sword at his side. "Whoa, now!" said Moon, raising her hands and backing away, "What's up with that?"

Sessho-maru swung Toki-jin.

Immediately, he staggered backwards a few paces, as the circle on the girl's forehead flared. Something was cutting at his body-unseen waves of power-

Moon clapped a hand to her forehead again. "You made it burn!" she yelled, "You _bastard!_ That hurts! I'm going to castrate you!"

She took a few steps backwards and aimed for the family jewels.

As she kicked, Sessho-maru wafted out of the way and landed gracefully behind her. "I don't know what you are," he said, levelly, "But you are clearly under the delusion that I am not who I am. I assure you, I am Lord Sessho-maru of the Western Lands."

Moon stared at him. "Dude, are you hearing voices? Or seeing people? Because if you're seeing the guy in the black cloak, that's a bad sign. I saw him once when I was younger. It's ok. It's called schizophrenia. Soon the people in white will come to take you away. They're _good_ people. They'll be _nice_ to you. You'll go to a nice place with nice padded rooms. And people who will be very, very kind to you. And they'll do whatever you want them to, except maybe kill themselves. I asked them once, and they said they can't do that."

Sessho-maru closed his eyes. One of his eyebrows was twitching, very gently. Then, he slammed his fist into a boulder.

It shattered and tumbled down the hill, towards a village below. Moon stared, mouth slightly open.

A group of men came running up, armed with bows and swords. "It wasn't me!" squeaked Moon, pointing at Sessho-maru, "It was his fault!"

"It was her," said Sessho-maru, calmly.

There was whispering among the men.

"Hey, do I look like I could crush a boulder here? I can't even break a stick!" said Moon, "The man is evil! He has a child slave! See? See? Everybody run!"

She threw her hands into the air and bolted down the other side of the hill. The men watched her go with looks of bewilderment on their faces. "She leaves me to deal with them," muttered Sessho-maru under his breath.

Meanwhile, Moon was crouched behind another boulder-this one unshattered-breathing hard. "OK, time to figure out where the hell I am," she said to herself. Jumping up, she walked towards a road, where several people were walking.

"Where am I? Do you have a phone?" she said, stepping onto the road.

The villagers ran. "What?" yelled Moon after them, still completely oblivious to the round, glowing purple moon on her forehead. She covertly sniffed her armpits, and cringed. "I smell _that_ bad?" she said to herself, and sniffed again. "Oh, wait, Kevin spilled formaldehyde on me. Yeah, that's it."

She looked left and right, and picked left. Moon began to walk along the road.

"_TETSUSAIGA_!" yelled someone in the distance. Moon jumped, whirled around, and saw some strange-looking idiots behind her, one of them holding a stupidly large sword.

"More people trying to attack me for no reason!" she said, backing slowly away, before something occurred to her.

Moon reversed directions and ran forward. "Is that Styrofoam?" she said, flicking the sword, "Or cardboard? I've never seen a Tetsusaiga done so well! I mean, it's amazing! It looks _so _real! How did you get it to be so shiny? Do you have metalworking at school or something? Hey! How did you do the little fiery things around the hilt? They're _moving_!"

The boy in front of her looked at her blankly, golden eyes puzzled. "Hey, your ears look real, too!" said Moon, reaching up and tweaking them. "Dude, is your mom or dad or something a costume designer? Because you're one _great_ Inu-yasha cosplayer!"

The others continued to look blank. "By the way, does one of you have a cellphone?" chattered Moon, "Because I really need to call my mom and have her pick me up. Where are we, anyway?"

A girl pushed the red-clad cosplayer to the side and rubbed her hands together. "Don't worry, I can deal with this one," she said to the others, "Honey, I need to tell you something."

"Really?" said Moon, "What? You have a phone?"

"No." The girl paused. "I'm Kagome, by the way. You're in feudal Japan. It's ok. Happened to me once, too-I fell down a magic well. What happened to you? Where are you from, anyway? Tokyo? Kobe?"

"Uh...try America?" suggested Moon. "And I fell down the stairs."

There was a long pause. "Who are you all, anyways?" said Moon, and stopped for a minute. "Wait...is this like that one anime series? Inu-yasha or something?"

"Why do you keep saying my name, wench?" growled the boy with the sword, stepping forward. The girl in front of Moon crossed her arms. "Sit."

The boy slammed into the ground. Moon's eyes went wide. "Wow! That's soooooo cool! I totally wish I could do that to Kevin! I mean, I've never seen a cosplay this good! How did you do that? By the way, who was the guy up on the hill? He had long white hair, amber eyes, had a sort of fluffy thing, wearing armor-shit, that hurt-and he was _damn_ sexy."

"Oh, you mean Sessho-maru?" said Kagome.

"Yeah, is that his name? Because...oooh, I can just imagine him in skintight black vinyl. Mmmmmmm."

Kagome looked disgusted for a moment, then a glazed look passed over her face. Both girls stared absently at nothing, smiling slightly at the image of Sessho-maru in black vinyl...without a shirt.

"I'm Sango," said the woman behind Kagome, after a few moments. "Um...what's vinyl?"

Kagome leaned over and whispered a few words in her ear. A thoughtful look passed over Sango's face as well, and all three women had rather glazed eyes for a moment.

Well, _technically_ women. That is, one of them really didn't look much like a woman, having a sad lack of significant members in the chest area, not to mention height.

"Hey, snap out of it, wench," growled Inu-yasha, waving a hand in front of Kagome's face.

"If this place is where I think it is-trust me, I'm giving you the benefit of doubt-you're Inu-yasha!" said Moon, brightly. "Do you think you could hook me up with your brother?"

Inu-yasha looked revolted. The man behind him, who had up till now been silent, shook his head and stepped forward. "Really, if you're that sadly lacking in that department, perhaps I could be of service!" he said, reaching forward and clasping Moon's hands in his own. "Will you bear my child?"

Moon looked thoughtful. "Well..." she said, as Miroku was hit over the head by a rock and a boomerang, respectively, "I'm not legal, you know. So...no. But...waaaaait. If I had sex with you and somehow got pregnant, I could claim that you raped me and then sue you for all you're worth! And I really have been wanting that coat, so...ok!"

By this time, however, Miroku was in no condition to hear or answer. Moon scratched at her neck and froze. "My necklace! My lucky necklace! I lost it again!"

She started looking frantically around herself. "OK, I'll just retrace my steps," Moon said, and ran in a circle. "Nope. Help me!" she said, looking at Kagome, Sango, and Inu-yasha with a woebegone look. "Heeeellllp meeeee?" she whined. "Heeeellllp meeee, or else!" Moon's eyes suddenly started to shine scarily and her hair picked up even though there was no wind.

"I'll trace it by scent?" said Inu-yasha hurriedly, stepping between Moon and Kagome. He leaned forward and sniffed at Moon...

And fell over sideways in a faint. Moon looked down at him. "Must have been the formaldehyde. Whoops," she said, genially. "Let's go. Wait! I don' wanna go up the hill! Well, actually I do, but not really because Sessho-maru is scaaaaarrry! Yet...really, _really_ hot."

She turned around and started walking back towards the hill, looking at the ground. "I was...here," she said, looking at the boulder, "Hiding...yay! Here it is!"

Moon picked up a beaded choker necklace with a fork charm. She held it up and found the clasp, and placed it around her neck.

"Why the fork?" said Kagome, who had followed out of pure curiosity.

Moon's eyes gleamed happily. "Forks! I collect forks! Forks are my _thing_. Once, I was in this store, because Tangerine had broken a plate and we had to buy a new one, and I saw a 1927 silver-cast Wentworth mutton fork for only 49.95! And so I was all freaking out, because I've only seen those in the National Museum of Antiquities, cutlery section of course, and I was all like, 'We have to buy it! We have to buy it!' to Tangerine, and she was all like, 'You're fucked up.' Oh! And here it is!"

During her rather inane speech, Moon had been rummaging in her backpack and produced a black leather case. Unfastening it reverently, she held up a silver fork. "And now I keep it with me all the time," she said, happily, "Notice the-"

A whip of light knocked the fork out of her hand. Moon screamed in terror and made a mad dive for the fork, catching it and tumbling down the hill for several yards. She examined it feverishly. "It's dented! It's _dented!_" she shrieked, "_You dented my fork! _You _bastard!_ You fucking _bastard!_"

Kagome, Sango, and the now-revived Miroku stared in terror of the fork-avenging diva as Moon's hair began to whip around and silver light from nowhere surrounded her. Inu-yasha, however, had unsheathed his sword and was glaring up the hill, eyes narrowed.

"Sessho-maru," he growled, "What are you doing here?"

Moon turned and saw Sessho-maru at the top of the hill. With a scream of, "You! This time I really _am_ going to castrate you!" Moon clenched her fist and twisted, and Sessho-maru winced.

The girl raced up the hill like an avenging angel-well, more like an avenging _angle,_ but that wasn't the point. Moon stopped for a second to replace the fork in the case and threw herself at the demon, battering at him with her fists. "You _dented_ my _fork!_ You _dented_ it! You-you-I don't even know what to _call_ you! You..._demon!"_

Sessho-maru plucked the girl from where she was hanging onto his armor and energetically kicking at his shins and held her at arm's length. "Is this yours?" he said to Inu-yasha, staring down the hill. "Found yourself another wench, at any rate. And not even done with the first one. However, I can't even imagine why you want _this_ one." Sessho-maru shook Moon slightly. "Isn't she a bit short?"

"Oh, _that's_ it," seethed Moon, swiping at Sessho-maru's arm, "_No one calls me 'short' and gets away with it._ And you called me a _wench._ Not just _short,_ not just a _wench,_ but a **_short wench._**" She grabbed his arm in both hands and dug her nails into the underside of his wrist.

Sessho-maru let her drop from where she was dangling two feet above the ground. With a yelp, Moon fell and clutched at her own right arm. "Ow! What the fuck did you do _that_ for?"

Inu-yasha growled, hefting Tetsusaiga. "She's not mine. And Kagome's _not_ my _wench._"

"Yes she is!" said Moon loudly from the ground. The dog-demons ignored her.

Kagome grabbed Inu-yasha's arm as he started forward. "Inu-yasha! There's a Shikon shard coming this way!"

"I smell wolf," said Inu-yasha, sniffing the air. "It's that fool Kouga."

* * *

Well, that's the first chapter of my friend's and my cowritten fic! Please review and let us know how we did!

This is Fireblade K'Chona and her friend A Very Mad Hatter, bringing to _you_ the first installment of "Every 29 Days!"

-Blade and Hatter!


	2. Of Wolves and Pixi Stix

**Disclaimer:** We own Moon and her fork obsession. Not that we want to.

**Moon:** Hey!

**F&H:** Fine, we do want Moon...but not her fork obsession.

**Moon:** Forks are _nice!_ How dare you?

**F&H:** Er...let's just end this and start the next chapter. Sesshy, get her in place.

**Sessho-maru:** -Death Glare of _Eternal Doooooooom-_

**F&H: **Meep. –sweatdrop-

**LATER:** Argument between F and H about "Osuwari" vs. "Sit!"

**H:** It has to be "Osuwari!"

**F:** -frantically uses the handy little Find button, finds "sit" in previous chapter- See? –jabs finger at screen- It is posted! IT IS LAW!!!

**H:** Yeah, whatever.

Erm...ok then.

* * *

A tornado halted several feet away from the little gathering on the hill. Moon at last stood and went to her backpack, carefully settling the fork case inside. Then, she turned and went to see what was happening, but by then, already Kouga was saying, "Kagome! How lovely to see you. I smelled your sweet scent gliding upon the air and...uh..."

He referred to a piece of paper. Two other wolf-demons came to a halt several feet behind him, panting heavily, and rolled their eyes as Kouga began to speak again.

"Uh...and...I came to rescue you from your...Hakkaku, I can't read your writing. Wait a minute...I can't even read!"

The wolf-demon leader rounded upon his packmates and crumpled the paper in his fist. Hakkaku and Ginta cringed, but Inu-yasha interceded. "Come to get beat up again, you mangy wolf?"

"Pbth. Like I could ever get beaten by an idiot albino puppy like you," retorted Kouga.

Moon poked at Kouga's arm. "You're Kouga, aren't you?" she said, "You know, you're a real idiot! Kagome's never gonna go for you. I mean, you're more stupid than the two albinos put together!"

Sessho-maru cracked his knuckles and Inu-yasha glared at Moon. "And who are you?" said Kouga, looking Moon up and down, "Inu-yasha's new wench?"

"Gyaaaah! Why do you all keep calling me a wench! And _Inu-yasha's_ wench to boot! Who would _want_ to be Inu-yasha's wench? Besides you, Kagome. And you! I mean, he's a _necrophiliac,_ for crying out loud!"

Inu-yasha growled dangerously, and stopped. "What's a...'necrophiliac'?"

Moon ignored him. "Besides, you smell funny," she added as an afterthought to Kouga, "Like you haven't bathed in a week!"

"What, you mean _you_ bathe every day?" said Kouga, staring down at Moon.

"You mean you _don't?_ That's _gross!"_ said Moon, backing away. "I'll hit you!" she added, brandishing her small, almost emaciated fist.

"So if she's not yours," said Kouga, "Then she must be _yours,_" he said, turning to look at Sessho-maru. He sniffed and wrinkled his nose. "From your stink, you must be related to that mutt Inu-yasha."

"Ooh, that was _low,_" said Moon, moving back into a refereeing position, "And now, after that low blow from Kouga, let's see what Sessho-maru does!"

"Would you just _shut up?_" growled Inu-yasha. "This is between _me_ and _him._ So butt out, Sessho-maru."

"Him and me, him and me, Inu-yasha," said Moon, correcting his grammar.

Sessho-maru's eyes narrowed dangerously at Kouga. "And now, Sessho-maru's eyes narrow dangerously as he ponders his response to that low, rather stupid blow of Kouga's!" said Moon, resuming her refereeing position, "Go, Fluffy, go! Go, Fluffy, go!"

Kouga turned and glared at Moon. "You calling me _stupid,_ wench?" he said.

"You calling me a _wench,_ stupid?" retorted Moon.

Kouga raised a fist and set himself to attack Moon.

Moon squeaked and cowered, and the moon on her forehead flashed.

Sessho-maru felt his moon pulse, suddenly, and found himself between Kouga and Moon, holding the wolf-demon's fist back. He blinked. "What am I doing? Go ahead, kill her. I don't care," said Sessho-maru, releasing Kouga.

"Thanks a _lot!"_ exclaimed Moon as she took the opportunity to wrap herself around Sessho-maru's leg. "I go down, you go down, mister!" she added, sticking her tongue out at Kouga and burying her face in Sessho-maru's fluff.

Sessho-maru shook his leg in an attempt to dislodge her. "Get off of me."

"No!" Moon squeaked, holding tighter.

"You're making my foot go numb," observed Sessho-maru.

"Hey, maybe you're having a heart attack! Good! Die, bitch, die!" said Moon, venomously.

"Ungrateful creature," replied Sessho-maru, reaching down and dislodging Moon from his leg by the expedient of holding her up at arm's length...again.

"I'm gonna _bite_ you this time!" said Moon, and fastened her teeth in his wrist.

She let go with another strangled yelp, clutching her own wrist. "What the _fuck?_" said Moon, as blood welled up from several small cuts in a strange oval.

"Apparently whatever I do to attempt and hurt you rebounds upon me," said Sessho-maru, taking a few steps away, "It would appear to be the same for you."

"I _knew_ there was a drawback to being dumped on you, I just _knew_ it," muttered Moon as she sucked at one of the cuts. "_Ow._"

"..." said Kouga, Inu-yasha, and Kagome in unison, staring bemusedly at Moon.

"What're _you_ looking at?" retorted Moon, sticking out her tongue again.

After a long silence as the authors pondered what to do next, there was a buzzing of the Overused Insta-Action Device (just add water!) as one of the Saimyosho zipped away from a tree. "Let's follow it!" cried Inu-yasha, in his pre-programmed reaction.

"....................................damn it to hell........................" he said, after a moment.

Moon looked at him with a 'what the fuck' expression firmly in place. "That...was the worst line you've ever said..." she said, after a minute, "And that's saying a _lot,_ after you've watched the English versions, Japanese dubbed, Japanese with English subtitles, and read the manga in Chinese." She stopped for a moment. "Even though I can't read Chinese," she added, as an afterthought.

"If the program started in Japan and the language was originally Japanese, it can't be dubbed to Japanese," pointed out Kagome.

"Damn you and your fancy...tenth grade learning," muttered Moon under her breath.

Their conversation was cut off, however, as Kouga, (who had been unobtrusively sneaking around) aimed a kick at Inu-yasha's back.

"Inu-yasha!" Kagome cried as Inu-yasha flew forward.

"Your lines are so cheesy," said Moon, sitting down behind Sessho-maru to watch.

Inu-yasha whirled around and launched himself at Kouga, brandishing the Tetsusaiga. Sessho-maru stepped backwards as his brother hurtled past hardly a foot from him. Moon, looking mischievous, stuck a foot out to trip Inu-yasha...just as Kagome yelled, "_Sit!_"

Inu-yasha tripped over Moon's foot and fell flat onto his face into a puddle of mud. "Dammit, wench, what was that for?" he howled through a faceful of dirt.

"Because it was funny!" said Moon, scooching behind Sessho-maru again.

Sessho-maru looked down at Moon. "I like the way you think," he mused.

"_Really?_" said Moon, joyfully, leaping up. "Does that mean we can be friends now? And share friendship stuff! Like friendship bracelets! And friendship heart necklaces! You know, the little ones that are half a heart each, and when you put them together, they fit perfectly! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!"

"No," said Sessho-maru, turning his gaze to his brother. "Really, you're pathetic, if you can be beaten by that pitiful excuse for a demon," he said to Inu-yasha, pointing to Moon.

"I'm not a fucking _demon!_ Where'd you get that idea?" spluttered Moon, indignantly. "Demons are yukky!"

Sessho-maru declined comment, but tapped the moon on his own forehead.

Moon felt frantically at her forehead, then grabbed Inu-yasha's hair and stared frantically into his eyes. She moved her head around to get her face reflected in the puzzled hanyou's eyes. Upon seeing the round circle on her forehead, directly between her eyebrows, Moon screamed.

Four miles away, a glass broke. Inu-yasha yelped and yanked himself away from Moon, holding his hands over his ears protectively, whimpering in pain. Sessho-maru rubbed his right ear calmly, and Kouga bolted.

Kagome slapped Moon lightly. "Snap out of it! See what you're doing to them?" she shouted over Moon's shriek, pointing at the dog-demons.

Moon stopped thoughtfully, staring at the two demons. "Really? Cool! I wanna do it again!" With that statement, she began screaming again, but not nearly as loudly.

Something whacked her over the head with a jingle. Moon whirled to glare at Miroku. "NOT COOL!" she yelled, "That _hurt!_"

Miroku edged behind Sango nervously.

"Let's all make a campfire and sit down and talk this out!" said Kagome, clapping her hands together.

Sessho-maru turned and enigmatically walked away.

Several minutes later, a fire was started-not aided in _any_ way by Moon, who had been poking it energetically with a stick-and the group was seated. "What's your name, anyway?" said Inu-yasha after a moment.

"Oooh, pretty!" said Moon, poking the fire with a stick. She stopped, and looked up. Pointing, she said, "Moon!"

Indeed, the moon was rising. As usual, it was full. "Yeah, the moon's pretty," said Kagome, "But what's your name?"

"Moon."

"No, I mean your _name._"

"It's _Moon._"

"No, what's your _name?"_ said Kagome, growing slightly frustrated.

"It's _Moon,_ dammit, that's my fucking name! Moon, Moon, Moon, _Moon!_ I can't help it-my parents were fucking _hippies_ and lived in a fucking _commune!_" said Moon, her eyebrow twitching and the circle on her head glowing slightly. "And my best friend's name is _Tangerine!_ Our parents are friends! We were friends in the _woooooooomb_. Well...at least, my _dad_ was a hippie..."

"What about your mom?" said Inu-yasha, tactlessly.

Moon's eyes glowed. "Don't. Talk. About. My. Mom," she said, the extra punctuation falling into place.

After a moment, where Moon looked at the fire, her expression brightened. "And on the other hand, let's all celebrate! I have candy!" she said, grabbing her backpack. "Can I burn my Biology book?" she said, after a moment rummaging through.

"No," said Kagome, immediately. "You'll need it when you go back."

"Damn, I have to go _back?_ _No,_ dammit!" said Moon, and opened another pocket in her backpack. She ran her hands over several fork cases and pulled out a sack.

"Pixi Stix...more Pixi Stix...Werthers...and, of course, everyone's favorite, POCKY!" Moon yelled, taking out handfuls and flinging them upwards.

Grabbing a Pixi Stix, Moon ripped it open and paused, thinking, "Inu-yasha! I sense a demon over there!"

She pointed at a bush. Inu-yasha turned his head and sniffed. "I don't smell anything."

"That's because you don't have special _super-demon_ powers!" said Moon, a crazed look in her eyes as she pointed to the moon on her forehead. "And plus, I got a...a...thing! See? It glows in the daaaaaarrk! And the action figure of me comes with special glow-in-the-dark stickers! Beat that, _doggy-boy!"_

There was a long silence. "Anyways, let's go defeat the demon, Inu-yasha!" said Moon, jumping up and grabbing Inu-yasha. "Do you want more powers? Sniff thiiiiiiiis!"

She waved a Pixi Stix at Inu-yasha, ripped off the top, and jammed the tube up his nose.

As soon as the white powder met his sinuses, Inu-yasha's eyes watered and he yelped. "Ah! My nose! It burns!"

"Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll!" chanted Moon as the hanyou clamped his hands over his nose.

"What did you _do_ to him?" cried Kagome as Inu-yasha whimpered in agony.

"I didn't do anything!" said Moon, eyes wide with innocence. "It was _him!"_ She pointed at Miroku, who was in the midst of unwrapping a Werthers caramel.

"What?" said Miroku, looking up, but had no further chance to speak as Moon launched herself at him and started beating him over the head. "You mean, mean, bad monk!" Moon shrieked as she pounded Miroku over the head with his own staff, "How dare you do that to Inu-yasha, who was only trying to help you?"

One of Miroku's flailing hands collided-quite accidentally, this time-with Sango's chest. Leaping to her feet, Sango yelled, "Pervert!" and hit the hapless monk over the head with her boomerang.

Shippou and Kirara hid behind Kagome, who was edging slowly away.

"Well, what happened to you, Inu-yasha?" said a voice on the edge of the camp. Everyone froze.

"Ah! I _hate_ you! I loathe you with a _passion,_ you rat from the sewers of Hell!" shrieked Moon at the sight of Kikyou. Moon shook her head, eyes tightly shut, and when she opened them, they were glowing brightly. Her hair swirled in an unfelt wind, and a nimbus of silvery light surrounded her. "You've arrived just in time!" said Moon brightly, walking up to Kikyou. "Get _outta_ here, you _third wheel!_" she shrieked at the top of her voice as she punted the startled miko back several feet.

Kagome applauded, then realized what she was doing and busily scratched her palm. "Ow!" she said, not very convincingly, "Mosquito?"

Moon bowed and said, "Thank you. Thank you very much."

Slowly, she went back to normal. As the last light faded from her eyes, Moon wobbled. "Ok, this is going to sound really fucked up," she said, sitting down, "But...I feel like I should be traveling with Sessho-maru. East."

Sango and Kagome slowly backed up. Miroku was still out cold, and Inu-yasha, predictably, had vanished. "Well, sniff you jerks later!" said Moon cheerfully, flipping everyone off as she picked up her backpack and walked towards what she thought was east, but was technically northwest.

"Ah-Moon?" said Sango, slowly. "East is that way."

"Ah, fuck," replied Moon, continuing to walk into the darkness.

After a few moments of walking, she realized that she could see al lot more easily than normal. "Weeeeiiiiird," she said, holding up her hand, "Hey, sweet! My moon is glowing! Awesome! Wait, that means I'm a nightlight!" Moon somehow sobbed and laughed at the same time.

Somehow not paying attention, Moon ran straight into someone in a white baboon suit. "Hey, that's illegal, man! White baboons are _endangered,_ you fucker!" she yelled. "How _dare_ you?"

She tackled him, and in the air realized her mistake, and stopped in midair. "Um...whoops, you're Naraku, aren't you?" she said, slowly.

"You must be the new miko," said the deep voice of Naraku.

* * *

Reviews are nice, people! You love us, don't you? We don't give a _damn_ if they're flames! Just REVIEW, you FOOLS!!!!

Thank you!

**H:** Domo arigato!

**F:** Um, ok, whatever.

-F&H


	3. Whoa, Mama!

**Disclaimer:** We own Moon and Miakoda, but we do NOT own Sesshy. –F glares at H-

**F:** I do _not_ want the lawyers sicced on us again, you fool!

**H:** Yes we do! Yes, yes, yes! I have locked him in my ROOOOOOM! He's MIIIIINE!

**F:** -rolls eyes, concusses H-

**H:** -is concussed, which really isn't that different-

**Moon:** Just start the story, dammit!

* * *

"I don't _wanna_ be a miko! Mikos are like shrine maidens or-or-or virgin sacrifices! I don't wanna be a shrine maiden! I don't wanna be a virgin! Actually I do, I think, but that has NO RELEVANCE WHATSOEVER!" ranted Moon at Naraku.

Naraku didn't dignify this with an answer, simply attacked.

Moon screamed in terror, and suddenly Sessho-maru found himself forcibly yanked-from several miles away-to her side. Without thinking, he attacked Naraku.

"Naraku, is this part of your trap?" he growled, "I tire of your petty deceptions."

Moon stared reverently up at Sessho-maru. "Woooow. That was _intelligent,_" she said, glomping his leg, "_Thank you, Fluffy-sama!"_

"Is this your new wench?" said Naraku, "You seem to favor the small ones, don't you? Children, both of them."

"Oh, you _pedophile!"_ said Moon automatically, siding with Naraku before realizing what she'd said. "Wait! I'm _not_ a _kid!"_

Her eye began to twitch as she stared at Naraku. "I. Am not. A child!" she said, eyes flaring.

_Boom._

Naraku exploded, and a pile of earth and a wooden doll clattered to the ground. Moon rushed forward and picked up the doll with Naraku's hair. _"Naraku voodoo!"_ she yelled, carefully unwinding the strand and placing it reverently in a fork case.

After a moment, what she had just done seemed to dawn upon Moon's usually clueless countenance.

"I...I just exploded a Naraku puppet-doll-thingy," she said, slowly, "_Cool!_"

Sessho-maru turned. "It appears that you can take care of yourself," he said, "I must go attend my own affairs."

"You and I need to head east!" said Moon, stubbornly, "Let's go!"

Sessho-maru ignored her, so Moon tackled the dog-lord and grabbed his ears, booting him in the sides. "East, dammit!" she yelled.

Sessho-maru reached back and plucked her from his shoulders. "That was rather undignified," he said, calmly, "I would appreciate if you left me alone from this day forward."

He dropped her, and Moon sat on the ground. She stared at him for a few moments, tears welling up in her eyes...

"You're so _meeeeeaaan!"_ she wailed, breaking into sobs, "You don't love meeeeeee!"

Sessho-maru shook his head gently as he continued to walk.

Moon followed him, continuing to sob. Hours later, the sun dawned on a demon walking along a road, followed by a strangely-dressed girl who was crying her eyes out and telling every passerby what was wrong with her. "He doesn't looooove meeeeee! He's supposed to be my friiiieeeeeennnnnd!" she wailed constantly.

The passerby cast glares at Sessho-maru, and walked past, clearly thinking that he was a stupid bastard of a human. Moon continued to wail.

"Stop making a scene!" Sessho-maru said, finally snapping as the tenth mortal passed, giving him an icy glare. "We're heading east, aren't we?"

"We _are?_" said Moon, stopping, "Oh, thank you Sesshy, _thank yoooooou!"_

She continued with her profuse thanks until Sessho-maru said, eyebrow twitching very gently, "Oh, shut up."

"You still don't love me, do you?" she said, instantly beginning to wail again.

Sessho-maru sighed heavily and stopped at the gates of a fortress. "This is the place!" Moon said, sadness forgotten instantly, "I can feeeeeel it!"

"What do you sense?" said Sessho-maru in a bored tone of voice.

Moon pointed to the tallest tower. "Very well," said Sessho-maru, "Let's go."

He leapt off the ground and soared towards the window.

"I CAN'T FLY!" yelled Moon after him, "You're _leaving _me!" Her voice started to quiver threateningly.

Sessho-maru turned in the air, grabbed Moon by the scruff of her neck, and leapt again.

Moon screamed. "I'm afraid of heeeeeiiiiiiiiggggghttttsssss!" she shrieked, and wrapped her arms and legs around Sessho-maru's arm. He held her away from his body and touched down lightly on a balcony.

The girl inside turned her head sharply, startled, as Moon continued to wail and Sessho-maru tried to set her down.

At last, Moon's feet touched the ground and she dropped to her hands and knees. "I kiss the sweet earth!" she yelled, clutching the ground, "Mwah!"

Sessho-maru, meanwhile, was looking at the girl kneeling on the floor, interrupted in her drawing. "Is this what you sense?" he said to Moon.

Moon looked up. "Yeah...oh, you. You must be...Muh...Muh...Miakoda!"

She rushed forward and grabbed the girl's free hand in her own. "Nice to meet you!" said Moon enthusiastically, as the girl blinked, "You-_owie_!"

Moon clapped her hands to the moon on her forehead as it flared with light again. Miakoda pressed a hand to her own forehead with a soft gasp. When she removed it, a waxing crescent was visible.

Moon got her first good look at the other girl, and her jaw dropped. Miakoda was...

Well, there were no other words for it but "drop-dead gorgeous."

She had long, silky black hair gathered into a bun, stunning violet eyes, and a body that would make even the most virtuous celibate monk stare. Moon's eyes widened, and she breathed heavily for a few moments...Sessho-maru backed quietly onto the balcony again...

"_WHAT?_ How come _I_ got gypped?" yelled Moon, "_You're_ prettier than me, even _he's_ prettier than me-and-and-I'm supposed to be the most _powerful!_ How fucking unfair is _that?_ You-both of you-I-I-I-_loathe_ you! Why don't you _answer me?_" she finished at the top of her voice at the still-silent Miakoda.

Miakoda turned her head to the door and released a piercing, two-toned whistle, before picking up a brush and a fresh piece of paper.

In elegant handwriting, Miakoda summed up the situation:

"I am mute," read the parchment. "And in a moment, both of you also will be mute when my father's guards get up here and cut your tongues out. How did you get up here?"

Moon sat back and crossed her legs, giving Miakoda an equally icy stare. "Captain Obvious strikes again. We _flew,_ idiot."

Sessho-maru sighed as the clatter of boots echoed up the stairs. "I really hadn't wanted to start the day by killing more of you disgusting mortals," he said, mildly, as the door burst open and guards rushed into the room, screening Miakoda from view.

Moon crossed her arms. "Oh, that's _it._ I go through _vertigo_ and wailing for _hours_ to get _up here,_ not to mention falling _four hundred fucking feet onto his armor,_ for _this?_"

The guards looked at each other-this small girl suddenly seemed extremely frightening, especially when her eyes began to glow.

Moon stomped her foot, and the world froze.

"Oh, _cool!"_ she yelled, running forward and poking one of the frozen guards, "I didn't know I could do that! That must've been _me!_"

Miakoda waved her hands frantically in front of the guards' eyes, whistling.

"Not gonna work, honey," said an amused female voice from the corner, "And no, Moon, that wasn't you. It was me."

"_Damn!"_ said Moon, pouting. "It's so cool! I wanna freeze people."

"All in good time," continued the voice, ominously. "Don't even think about leaving, Sessho-maru. You're not going _anywhere._"

Someone snapped their fingers, and silvery walls of light surrounded Moon, Sessho-maru, and Miakoda.

"So you've found each other, my dear children," said the voice, casually.

Moon looked into the corner, and suddenly screeched at the top of her lungs-

"_MAMA!"_

Moon flung herself happily at the woman in the corner, unnoticed until that moment, sitting on a cushion, wearing a red cocktail dress, high heels, fishnet tights, and strangely enough, a sword across her back.

The woman rose and caught Moon easily, saying, "Well, little one, you've grown. A bit. Not too much."

Moon ignored this-for once-glomping the woman enthusiastically.

Miakoda whistled something. "Yes, Miakoda," said the woman, calmly, and she whistled something back.

Moon extracted herself from the lady and said, "So...what are you doing here?"

"And who _are_ you?" added Sessho-maru.

"Oh, I'm hurt," said the woman, clutching her heart, "I'm deeply hurt. How could you forget your own _mother?_"

"You mean I'm _related_ to _that?"_ said Sessho-maru, incredulously pointing to Moon, eyes widening.

"Don't argue with your sister, dear," said the lady, looking into the distance. "I don't have much time here. Yes, I am your mother. You are all my children-Sessho-maru is eldest, Miakoda the middle child, and Moon the youngest."

"Wow! I've always wanted siblings!" said Moon, enthusiastically, speaking as an only child.

Miakoda and Sessho-maru exchanged looks, before realizing that they were a human not only associating, but also agreeing with a demon and vice versa, respectively. Both looked away quickly.

"Who I am doesn't really matter, provided that you understand that I am neither demon nor human," continued, the woman.

Sessho-maru's eyes narrowed. "Yes, Sessho-maru, this means that you are a half demon as well," continued their mother, "But _not_ half human, as your brother is."

"Whoa! We have _more_ siblings?" said Moon, brightly.

"Not you, youngest and dearest," their mother replied, smiling at Moon.

"Hah! I'm her _favorite!_" said Moon, triumphantly.

Meanwhile, the woman in the red cocktail dress wandered over to Sessho-maru. "You look so much like your father," she murmured, reaching up to stroke Sessho-maru's face.

"You are my mother, correct?" replied Sessho-maru, blandly.

"Damn...there's _always_ a catch," muttered the woman, taking her hand away. "Anyway. You three-Moon, Miakoda, Sessho-maru, have been brought together to fight a force of darkness that threatens to overtake all the world."

"_Wow,_ that was cheesy," said Moon.

The woman stared pointedly at her. "In a...classy...amazing...sort of way," stammered Moon, nervously. "Anyway!"

"As I said, you have been brought together to fight a force of darkness, which I was supposed to battle, but I'm going to the future to see Moon's father again. We had such fun on the commune together...smoking pot and having se-"

"Whoa there, Mama!" yelled Moon, drowning out the rest of the sentence, "We do _not_ need to hear that!"

Miakoda and Sessho-maru winced. "For once, Moon is accurate," said Sessho-maru, and Miakoda whistled something vehemently.

"Fine," sighed the woman, "Anyway, you are here to battle the force of darkness I was supposed to, but I really didn't want to so I opted to head to the future and leave the dirty work to you three."

The woman paused. "I don't have much time," she said, speaking quickly, "So-first of all, use all the strengths you have-especially you, Sessho-maru. Remember, your sexiness is both a curse and a benediction. Moon...I'll come back to you. Miakoda, this is yours-"

She took the sword from her back and handed it to the nonplussed girl. "All of you can now understand her whistling," continued their mother, waving a hand, "Moon...um...well...look both ways before you cross the street and don't do drugs. Toodles!"

The lady turned around and walked away, fading out of view. The three siblings stared after her, Miakoda with wonder and bemusement, Moon with excitement and her usual strange hyperness, and Sessho-maru with um...um...no emotion whatsoever.

After a moment, realization dawned on Moon's face, and Sessho-maru braced himself for the piercing shriek that was sure to come. And sure enough...

"I didn't _get_ anything!" Moon wailed, diving for Sessho-maru's fluff, which was expertly twitched out of the way, "She doesn't looooove me!" the girl continued to whine.

"And you were supposed to be her favorite," said Sessho-maru, sardonically.

The guards were unfreezing, looking rather confused. "Milady? You summoned us?" one of them said, bowing to Miakoda. Miakoda froze, then whistled indignantly, "You _dare_ to interrupt my friends and I? What insolence!"

"But my lady!" protested the same guard, "You whistled for us-"

"I was-we were-simply entertaining ourselves with a bit of music!" said Miakoda, looking desperately at Moon and Sessho-maru. Moon elbowed Sessho-maru in the side.

For once, the dog-demon looked surprised, and after the further prompting of Moon's elbow, said, "Er...um...la?"

Moon rolled her eyes. "Must I do _everything_ around here?" she said, happily ignoring that it had been a: Sessho-maru who had found east, b: Sessho-maru who had saved her ass from Naraku and Kouga, and c: Sessho-maru who had carried her up to the tower.

Moon opened her mouth and began to sing "Habanera" from Carmen. Surprisingly enough, she had a lovely voice. Sessho-maru and Miakoda both stared at her.

The guards filed out of the room at Miakoda's imperious gesture, and Moon stopped singing. Seeing the incredulous looks the other two were giving her, she frowned. "You know, _statistically,_ I have to be good at _something._ Just because I'm short and-and-not as pretty as you-and clumsy, and-and-have bad hair, and hyperness, and-and-that I'm a klutz, doesn't mean that I'm bad at _everything._" Her voice was perilously close to tears.

Sessho-maru rubbed his temples. "What do we do now?" he said, effectively cutting off Moon's tears.

"And what am I supposed to do with _this?_" whistled Miakoda, hefting the sword.

"It's name is Moonblade, and that sounds reeeeaaaaalllly cheesy, but it _is!_" said Moon.

"Well, Moon, where should we go next?" said Sessho-maru.

"I don't have a fucking clue!" announced Moon, happily.

"If we are leaving, I need to pack," whistled Miakoda, consideringly.

"_No,_" said Moon and Sessho-maru at exactly the same time.

* * *

All right...there's another chapter of this fic done, and please, for the love of Fluffy-sama, _review!_

-F&H


	4. An Incredibly Annoying Hostage

**Disclaimer:** We own Moon and Miakoda. And Mums. And Tangerine. And-well, whoever else you don't recognize, we probably own.

**H:** Aw, man, we torture Fluffy _so_ much…if he ever read this, he'd be on us like…like…

**F:** Moon on a 1927 silver-cast Wentworth mutton fork?

**H:** Yeah, that works.

-

It didn't take too long before the three of them were wandering along a Generic Road. "What should we do now?" wondered Moon, to herself of course because the other two rarely bothered to listen.

"Aren't you the one who's supposed to sense these things?" said Sessho-maru, without looking back. Moon glared at him.

"So what if I am? You're supposed to-um-be sensing things too! Yes!" she replied, sticking her tongue out at him.

Just then, the forest they were traveling through on said Generic Road ended, and there was a _beautiful _view of the ocean…except it turned out it was only crap, because the writers had run out of ideas because they hadn't ingested enough sugar yet.

"Why don't you and Rin go to a father-daughter dance?" said Moon, after a moment of awkward silence.

"What do you mean?"

"You know…you and Rin…father and daughter…" Moon persisted.

"We do not have any such relationship," said Sesshomaru.

"I knew it! I _knew_ she was your child slave!" shouted Moon, in triumph, and pointed at him.

Triumphantly, of course.

When Sesshomaru did not reply, Moon attempted to provoke a further reaction by adding, "And-and-I'm ruler of the WORLD!"

A lightning bolt struck from a clear sky at her feet. Moon shrieked and hid in Sesshomaru's fluff.

Again.

"You're such a coward," said Sesshomaru, shaking his head.

Moon pouted. "I hate you!" she squealed, "Leave me alone!"

She ran back into the Generic Forest, which had suddenly cropped up again.

"Well, what do we do now?" Miakoda whistled.

Sesshomaru could only come to one conclusion. "We find her, of course," he said, "Without her, we have no idea where we're going." He sighed, unhappy with this course of action.

Turning, he sniffed in the direction of the forest, and frowned. "But…for some reason, I can't pick up her scent."

Miakoda scratched her head. "Well, she's not strong enough to create any sort of barrier…she doesn't even know how," she whistled, slowly.

Meanwhile, Moon was strolling through the forest, getting herself lost very quickly and not even knowing which direction she was going in, because without Sesshomaru and Miakoda's direction, she had lost track of the road.

And of course, the fact that there were no street signs sort of helped that too.

There was a rustling in the bushes. Moon jerked in surprise, yelled, "I have a gun! Don't move!" and started humming her own theme song, immediately forgetting the apparent danger.

The Generic Bandits hidden in the bushes watched, rather bemused, as Moon created a gun shape with her fingers and began posing as she had seen heroes do in action movies. Since she was wearing a backpack, her movements where somewhat hindered, however, and the overall effect was that she looked stupid.

"We're taking you hostage," said the apparent leader, uncertainly, stepping into view with an arrow trained on Moon-who immediately stopped posing and said, "Wow! Hostage? Me? Really? I've never been taken hostage before! There was this one time where that one guy tried to get me to go into his car, but I turned around and ran away! Is this going to be cool? Oooh! Do I get to ride something?"

As she kept up this flow of incredibly fast babbling, the other bandits overcame their bemusement, tied her hands, and set her on the back of a horse. Moon continued talking, oblivious. As they began mounting the rest of the horses, she yelled to one of them, "Hey, wait! Waitwaitwaitwaitwait!"

Reaching with bound hands over her shoulder, Moon managed somehow to unzip her backpack and remove a digital camera. She tossed it to said bandit. "Take a picture!" she demanded, bouncing on the back of the horse.

The bandit turned the camera over in his hands, clearly unable to tell what to do. Moon rolled her eyes and said, "Press the big button, you idiot!"

The bandit, startled, pressed said button and yelped as the flash went off in his face, temporarily blinding him. Moon rolled her eyes again and said, "Turn it so it faces me. Stupid."

The bandit complied and hastily threw the camera back at Moon, who caught it-nearly falling off the horse-and put it back in her backpack. She paused. "Since when have I had a digital camera?" she said, looking confused. After a moment, she shrugged. "Oh well."

She proceeded with her endless chapter. "You know, this one time I was playing on one of those roleplaying games online because I have no life and I know it's really nerdy but I have no life and I playing and I was really pretty, because I always choose pretty roleplaying character because I'm pretty in real life-"

One of the bandits snickered, and Moon shot him a dark look. He cowered as she continued, "So then no one ever like, tried to abduct me because for some reason, even though I'm so beautiful, no one ever wants to abduct me and it's so mean! But I don't really-and then there was this horse, that was blue, that was mine, and everyone was jealous, I know they were! Because I had a blue horse and they didn't, and I was so cool and they weren't!"

The bandits tried to make sense of this, and failed miserably. Moon _continued_ to talk. "So do you guys play on the computer in your free time? I mean, what's it like to be a bandit? Wait, you don't have computers. That's really sad. My neighbor was a bandit for Halloween once, or maybe he was just Hilary Duff, I couldn't tell from his costume. So do you guys like Lord of the Rings? I love Lord of the Rings! Haldir is cool, I think the actor who plays him is really hot. And then there was that scarface kid, except it was really only on his forehead, who I kinda like, but I don't really like him because he's a whiner and such a PMSing drama queen."

Finally, one of the bandits cracked. "Do you _ever_ shut up?" he shouted at the top of his lungs, throwing himself into the river, unable to bear the babbling even a moment longer.

"That's the fourth person I've made go insane this year! Wow, I must be getting good at this!" remarked Moon, "Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, once I was at this waterpark and I was going down the waterslide, except some idiot went right after me instead of waiting for me to come out the bottom, so I got really made and punched him in the balls and stole his shorts and threw them in the ducky pond. Except the duckies tried to bite me and then I was requested not to go there anymore. Damn. And I kinda liked that waterpark, too."

The bandit leader twitched, very slightly.

Five hours later, two more bandits had run away screaming, Moon _still_ hadn't run out of breath, and the remaining men looked rather the worse for wear. At last, the bandits came to a conclusion-Moon would be abandoned at the next town.

"-and this other time I was drinking soda on a horse and I fell off, and I just remembered I don't even-I don't even _like_ horses! Damn animals! Giddyap!" she shouted, kicking the horse in the sides.

Luckily, the horse didn't notice, since the kick had been so pathetic.

"That's it," said the bandit leader, who now had dark circles under his eyes, and pushed Moon off the horse.

Without hesitation, the entire band galloped into the sunset.

"That was romantic…ish…" said Moon, sitting in the middle of the road. She stood up, slowly. "Man, my legs hurt."

Looking around, she didn't see anyone, so she began waddling down the road in the opposite direction of the bandits, saying periodically, "Oh, ow. Ow. Ow, ow, ow…"

When night fell, she was still alone, her hands still tied, and still somewhere out in the boondocks. "Well, this is fun," Moon said, still hobbling along, "I think I'm lost. Again."

So she sat down, in the middle of the field-since she had lost track of the road _again-_and waited.

Within ten seconds, she got bored. "Maybe I'll find something in my backpack to do," she said, reaching over her shoulder again.

The first thing she found was a lightsaber. Moon didn't even question _how_ this had gotten into her backpack, wasting no time in cutting the ropes around her hands, standing, and saying, "Wow! I'm Darth Vader! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrr!" and making not-in-the-least convincing breathing sounds. "Luuuuukkeee….I am your faaaaaaaaatther," she said, waving around the purple beam of light. Which also happened to have sparkles in it-no one ever found out why.

"What?" said Sesshomaru, from behind her. Moon screamed and swung around, pointing the lightsaber at him. "Don't do that!"

-

And here, the authors ran out of ideas and ended the chapter.

Hope you enjoyed this, and we shall see you again later! Sort of! Sometime!

-Fireblade K'Chona and A Very Mad Hatter


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